This Sunday we will observe the fast day of the 17th of Tammuz, which commemorates the siege of Jerusalem leading to the destruction of the Temple.  The Talmud says that the Temple was destroyed due to baseless hatred among Jews.  This is hard to avoid, for as one great thinker said, “We see anyone more religious than ourselves as a fanatic, and anyone less religious as a heretic.”  It’s funny, but there is much truth to this.  As a mechanism of human survival  we like to put people in boxes so we know with what we are dealing and can predict if the other is trustable, if they will like us, and if they will be a good mate and care for our young.   But, of course, this also sows seeds of conflict, as we are not all the same.  How are we to retain unity even in the face of vast difference?

The Jewish people are not a nation-we have lived for thousands of years without a land, the jewish people are not a religion – since many people are Jews but are not religious, and we are not a race-because a Jew from Europe and a Jew from Africa do not speak the same language, eat the same foods or wear the same dress.  I believe that the Jews are a family.   One can never leave a family, if you do you are still someone’s child, and someone’s sibling – the same is true of the jewish people- even if we leave we are still part of it.  Additionally, just as someone can be adopted into a family and they become truly part of it, the same is true of Jews and conversion.   Functional families love each other unconditionally, and therefore the same must be true of the Jewish people.

In this week’s parsha Bilam tries to curse the Jewish people and is unable, instead he is compelled to bless them.  We repeat part of his blessing every day in the prayer service: “Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov…”,  “How goodly are thy tents O Jacob…” Rashi comments on this: “How good are your tents…-That the door of one did not face the door of the other ”.  The goodness of our tents was our ability to be unified, to live next to each other, and yet to grant each other privacy, to hold back the desire to peer into the tent and life of the other in order to criticize them.  This balance of unity along with respect for others’ uniqueness and independence is a hard one, we sometimes do not see it in each other, and so Bilam, the greatest non Jewish prophet, comes to point out this strength to us.   May we live up to Bilam’s words and continue to exemplify the nation that both stays unified but has such profound respect for, and trust of, each other.