We are now in the midst of the period of the Three Weeks, a sad time during which we mourn the destruction of both Temples.  The Talmud writes that the Temple was destroyed and the Jewish people exiled at this time due to sinat chinam, baseless hatred.

In fact though, all hatred is forbidden, as the Torah states (Lev. 19),”You shall not hate your brother in your heart, you shall surely rebuke your people, and do not bear sin because of it.”   The commentaries explain that the torah is instructing us in this verse regarding what to do with the hatred we might feel  if someone has sinned against us or if something in another person that we despise causes us to hate them.  To resolve our hatred toward them the torah is instructing us here to address the hatred by confronting the individual and making up or through rebuking them.

The talmud says though, that if one lives in a generation in which people do not know how to receive rebuke or to give it properly, or if rebuking the individual will only cause more hatred, then one should not rebuke and it is to this situation that the end of the verse refers: “do not bear sin because of it,” it referring to the rebuke or confrontation.   In such a situation one should not confront or rebuke.   But, if the rebuke can not be attempted because the person will respond with anger, indignation, or retaliation, —then are we not back to square one with hatred in our heart, which is forbidden?   What are we to do to address hatred in the heart if confrontation or rebuke is not an option?

I think perhaps the answer lies in another verse about hatred (Exodus 23:5), “When you see the donkey of your enemy lying under its burden and would refrain from raising it, you must nevertheless surely raise it with him.”  The word for “raise it” here is the Hebrew word “azov” which also means “to let go of” or “get rid of”.  The aramaic translations suggest that the verse is saying, that by helping your enemy with his burden, in the process you will let go of your hatred.   The more we know someone, and the more we help them with their burden, or see the burdens they might be facing,  we will have mercy toward them, and even if they have sinned against us or sinned generally, we will be able to let go of our hatred toward them and replace it with concern and care.   Let us care more for those we hate, whom we would like to rebuke, and so expel the hatred from our heart and bring about  a speedy redemption.