This past shabbat i spoke of Yitro, Moses’ father-in-law.   The Torah tells us Yitro heard all that God did for the Jewish people in redeeming them from Egypt and came to moses and the Jewish people in the desert at Mount Sinai.   A few verses latter Moses tells Yitro the story of God taking the Jews out of Egypt and Yitro responds with a profound spiritual epiphany,.   He declares the unity of God, blesses God, is inspired and brings sacrifices.

Moses does not add any information to the facts that Yitro knows about the Exodus, why is it Moses’ telling that so religiously inspires Yitro?

The answer is that being present to hear the narrative is not a small addition to knowing its content, but is everything.   Being present to tell and to hear the narrative is transformational in a way that knowing the facts of its content are not.   Such telling and hearing is healing and transforming.

This is true for the Jewish people as a nation, for instance, in the Arab-Israeli conflict knowing the facts, moving the pieces around, making new deals will not change anything, it is the telling and the hearing of each others’ narratives that  is the key to transformational change.   Until both sides engage in hearing the narrative of the other there can be no peace and reconciliation.

This is true of a individuals,of  families and for communities also.   In order for a community to move beyond past difficulties its members must sit to hear each other’s narratives of perspective and pain.  As the Mishna in Uktzin says: “God hath found no vessel for blessing for the Jewish people except peace.”